A Reflective Commentary on Assignment 1

This first assignment has been an eye opener for me. I have always worked from charts and patterns with my needlework, even with projects that I've designed, I have used software to adapt the image into a pattern. It has been difficult to separate that methodical and organised part of my mind from the creative side.

I used to draw and paint a lot when I was younger, taking Art at A level and even drawing well into my 20s. However I never felt that my drawings were good enough, I wanted them to be exactly like the object or landscape that I was trying to capture and I fought against developing my own styles.

'Making Marks' was incredibly difficult for me. I had this firm idea that in order to represent the meanings of the words, I had to do the obvious. Whether that was someone being happy to convey happiness or a speeding car or someone running to represent 'fast', these were the images that raced through my head. As I practised, it felt more like I was reverting to the child that I was. I had to put away any natural inclinations to draw direct representations and try to free up my mind and my hand to 'just' make marks. It sounded so simple but it wasn't.

It felt like a trial, something to be endured to get to the sewing, if you like. I had to walk away on several occasions, trying to clear my mind and get a blank state to work from. And for me, that worked. My scribbles were very haphazard but the more I tried it, the easier it became. I really enjoyed this part of the assignment and it has definitely helped me to be more fluid in my sewing and my visions. It's no longer about copying something so that it is a perfect replica but now all about giving my view, my impression and thoughts of the image I'm trying to convey.

When it came to the sewing, I knew I had more confidence and more belief in my creativity. Over the years, I have blocked that creativity in a way, preferring to go the tried and tested routes of 'sewing by numbers' or that's how it seems. This section of the course had pushed me to climb a few of those walls and although I know that there are other barriers to get past, I feel as though I have the self belief to at least push myself a little further.

Being able to just let loose with the needle was very liberating for me. It has also enabled me to see everything differently now. I don't just see fabric, a skyline, a flower or faces, I see textures, I see lines and stitches. I see future projects. But I'm not seeing them being a project that is a direct replication but as a new and different version, even if it bears no resemblance whatsoever to the original sketch or photo, it will have been inspired by that.

How I see colours and shades of those colours is different now, as I am attributing moods and feelings to colours. I don't see things as being all one colour or all one texture, now I am seeing many, many variations and combinations.

This section of the course has encouraged me to draw more, to make notes and to try to be more organised about my ideas whilst giving rein to my thoughts and creativity. I'm finding it difficult to turn off at night, with stitches and colours, lines and ideas fighting for space. I'm enjoying that.